Terça, 3 de maio, 2005

Toasting Bush

Essa foi boa. Laura Bush tirando um sarro do Dubya no White House Correspondents' Association dinner. Melhores partes:

"George always says he's delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney. He's usually in bed by now.

I'm not kidding.

I said to him the other day, 'George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're going to have to stay up later.'

But George and I are complete opposites — I'm quiet, he's talkative, I'm introverted, he's extroverted, I can pronounce nuclear —

The amazing thing, however, is that George and I were just meant to be. I was the librarian who speant 12 hours a day in the library, yet somehow I met George.

Speaking of prizes brings me to my mother-in-law. So many mothers today are just not involved in their children's lives — Not a problem with Barbara Bush. People often wonder what my mother-in-law's really like. People think she's a sweet, grandmotherly, Aunt Bea type. She's actually more like, mmm, Don Corleone.

Now, of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails, taking down trees, or, as the girls call it, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw — which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well.

It's always very interesting to see how the ranch air invigorates people when they come down from Washington. Recently, when Vice President Cheney was down, he got up early one morning, he put on his hiking boots, and he went on a brisk, 20- to 30-foot walk."

Já pensaram qualquer outra primeira dama fazendo essas piadinhas? Hummm.

Mas melhor que essa dos Bush só a resposta do Jeff Gannon, o novo escândalo que ninguém dá a mínima, no último programa do Bill Maher:

"MAHER: --if there was someone who had this in his past who was now working in the Clinton White House, with rather dubious credentials under a false name, don't you think they would have made a bigger thing of it under a Democratic administration? Don't you think the Republicans would have been—[applause]—[to audience] Stop it!! Don't you think the Republicans would have been all over that?

GANNON: Well, I don't know the answer to that, but usually the way it works is, people become reporters before they prostitute themselves.

MAHER: [laughs] [laughter] Touché, Mr. Jeff Gannon."

O Maher é loony left, mas muito interessante. Não dá para deixar de assistir o programa dele. Ele é tão bom que vou por a mão no bolso e ver ele ao vivo em Junho. Depois eu conto como foi.